03

Mourning

The once lively and joyful home of Netra and Siddharth now felt devoid of life, with an eerie silence pervading the halls and rooms that were previously filled with laughter and love. As friends and family came to pay their respects, the grief hung heavy in the air. Some mourned sincerely, their hearts aching for the loss of this vibrant young woman. Others gossiped in hushed whispers about her untimely death, her bereaved husband, and their newborn child who would now grow up motherless.

Siddharth was inconsolable, isolating himself in their bedroom surrounded by memories of their life together. Clutching their baby close as if his grip could prevent her too from slipping away, he hadn't let his daughter out of his sight for even a moment. Immobilized by shock and sorrow, he sat for hours on the balcony swing where they used to snuggle in the evenings, staring up at the sky as if speaking silently to his Ney's spirit. He imagined she was there watching over them, her soul finally free from the broken body that lay downstairs surrounded by weeping family.

A knock at the door brought Siddharth back to the agonizing reality. Seeing his mother's tear-stained face, he knew she was suffering this loss profoundly too. Netra had become like a daughter to his parents, cherished and adored for the light she brought into their son's life and for Netra's family, losing their only child was a wound from which they might never recover. 

Triveni Nayak, Siddharth's mother, came closer to her son and gently patted his shoulder, wordlessly conveying her sympathy and support. She was keenly aware of the depth of her son's love for his wife Netra. Though Siddharth had always been an introvert, preferring his own company and interests like music and football over socializing, Netra was the first woman to  break through the walls he had built around himself and capture his heart. Their relationship seemed almost magical - she had pulled him out of his shell, convincing this once- pessimistic man to open himself up to love. Under Netra's spell, Siddharth came to embrace the Constitution of marriage and committed himself wholly to her. But now, just when she had lifted him to the heights of happiness, Netra had abruptly pushed him back down into despair. Triveni ached for her son, knowing how deeply the end of his marriage would wound him. Though quiet by nature, Siddharth had loved Netra with his whole being. Her unexpected departure would leave scars, and Triveni could only offer her gentle touch and silent sympathy, hoping to instill in Siddharth the strength to carry on.

"Siddhu.... come downstairs kanna , its time to perform the last rites "

Those words were like thundering to him, he has to perform the last rites of his wife , His Ney.  He never imagined that he would have to face something like this . Just yesterday, it seemed, they were young newlyweds embarking on a life together. Now here he was, a widower before his time. He remembered their first dance at the wedding, swaying gently to music only they could hear. He remembered late nights spent talking of hopes and dreams for the future while curled up in each other's arms. He remembered her radiant smile lighting up a room, her melodic laugh bringing joy to his heart. But most of all, he remembered her kindness, her compassion, her wisdom. She was his anchor, his voice of reason, his better half. With her by his side, he always felt he could conquer the world. Now, without her, the world felt empty and cold.

Slowly, he rose from the swing while Tarini held the sleeping baby and made his way towards the bathroom and took a shower and with trembling pace he made his way down the creaky wooden steps. As he entered the living room, he saw his entire family , friends and other relatives gathered there, their faces etched with grief. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for the heartbreaking task ahead. With heavy footsteps, he followed his father outside, the smell of incense hung thick in the air as they approached the funerary pyre where his Ney's shrouded body lay in wait. This was the final goodbye, the last act of love he could perform for the woman who had loved him so dearly. He blinked back the tears as he accepted the flaming wood from his father's hand. "It's time," his father said softly, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. He along with his father and father in law stretched out their trembling hands and lit the pyre, sending Netra on her final journey. The flames rose up, seeming to reach for the heavens as they consumed the mortal remains. 

She left, she finally left leaving them all behind enduring all the pain. Siddharth couldn't take it anymore, his feet gave up and fell on his knees looking at the pyre where his wife is burning in the fire pit. He felt like his heart was being ripped out as he watched the flames consume his  wife's body. He had imagined growing old with his wife by his side. Now he faced a bleak and empty future, alone. The flames rose higher as the sun began to set, taking the last remnants of his beloved with them. He had never felt more alone, more defeated. All he could do was kneel there helplessly and watch as the fire consumed the center of his world.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -"Triveni make sure Siddhu eat something and baby also" said Surya Nayak ,Siddharth's father with a pale tired face, the old man lost his only daughter through whom he felt daughterly love and affection. Not only had he lost the light of his life in Netra, but he now saw the devastating effect her death had on his son.

"He is not ready to eat anything Surya , not even to come out of his room. He has isolated himself. He has a responsibility now , he is a father now. I don't know how he is going to handle all this ."

"He is not alone Trivi , we all are with him. I know nobody can ever replace Netra 's love and affection but we have to be by his side. For now you feed the baby."

Just then Siddharth came down, Surya and Triveni exchanged relieved glances, praying this signaled the first step in Siddharth's long, difficult journey back to life. Though the road ahead would be painful, they would walk it with him, united in their love for Siddharth and his child.

Siddharth looked helplessly at his crying baby . Her tiny face was scrunched up and red, tears streaming down her chubby cheeks as she wailed at the top of her little lungs. Siddharth had tried everything he could think of to soothe her - he walked her around the nursery while patting her back, sang her lullabies in his toneless voice, even resorted to rocking her violently in the hopes it would make her sleepy. But nothing had worked. With each ear-piercing shriek from the unhappy infant, Siddharth could feel his patience wearing thinner. He was exhausted both physically and mentally - the non-stop crying had drained him of energy and frayed his nerves.  He looked at her red, scrunched up little face and felt utterly helpless and defeated as a new parent. "What do you need from me?" he pleaded with her. But she only wailed louder, oblivious to her father's misery. He simply didn't know what to do anymore. All he wanted was for her to sleep. But that seemed like an impossible dream as she refused to be calmed.

Looking at his state both Triveni and Surya had a painful sympathetic smile. They couldn't believe that their son grew up to take a big responsibility. 

"Kanna , baby is hungry da that's why she is crying." said Triveni seeing her granddaughter bursting her son's eardrums.

Listening to his mother he realized that baby didn't have anything after waking up from her evening nap. Triveni took her granddaughter to fill her empty tummy. Siddharth sighed , it was too much for him to handle all this in just one day and that too when he don't have a single idea about baby feeding and related stuffs. He understood his road ahead was long, but he understood that despite the challenges, this journey would be the most rewarding. Though today he felt inadequate, with time and his mother's guidance, Siddharth knew he would strive to be the parent his little girl needed, to nurture her and make sure she never felt the absence of her mother too deeply.


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